


never judge a book by its cover

by janie_tangerine



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crossdressing, Crossdressing Kink, Endearments, Genderplay, M/M, Makeup, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Stockings, The Author Regrets Nothing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Topping from the Bottom, Valentine's Day, mentioned past ramsay/theon but it's really a barely there mention, people this fic is just crossdressing porn I decided I should just go for it and I have no regrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-18
Updated: 2014-06-18
Packaged: 2018-02-05 05:46:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1807549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janie_tangerine/pseuds/janie_tangerine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“If I figure out that you might want to watch that movie with a dress on, am I wrong?”</i>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>  <i>Theon’s eyes go, in fact, very wide. Robb can’t help chuckling at that.</i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>“How did you -“</i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>“You’re predictable."</i></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Or: where Theon might want to try a kink out and Robb is entirely on board with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	never judge a book by its cover

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Devilinthebox (princegrisejoie)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/princegrisejoie/gifts).



> Uhm.
> 
> This was supposed to be a birthday fic. For a prompt that had to do with 'they do something for Valentine's day'. In _February_. I started it and then I got blocked in the middle and then I decided that hell or high water I was gonna finish it for throbb week. I'M SO SORRY IT'S SO LATE also it's probably not the droid you were thinking about but I really hope you like it? /o\ sorry for the lateness. Again.
> 
> Also, title is from _that_ Aerosmith song. Nothing belongs to me as usual. (Yeaaah I wish.)

“Don’t even go there,” Theon says when Robb clears his throat, before he can even speak.

“Now, you don’t even know what I was about to say.”

“I know what you’re about to say. My birthday is in three days, and it’s also coincidentally February 14th, and we could do _something_ , and no. I’m fine with staying in and watching a movie.”

Robb makes a show of sighing loudly and takes a sip from his coffee before trying again. “There’s no reason why we shouldn’t, though. Why not? It’s a stupid holiday, sure, but it doesn’t mean that -“

“Robb, you were there the last time I _did something_ for my birthday. No.”

He’s right on that, and Robb shudders just thinking about it, but Theon is forgetting a tiny detail.

“Fine, but we were fourteen and you’re not living with your dad right now. And it’s not like we have to call other people or whatever.”

“Great, so we can stay home and watch a movie. What difference does it make?”

“That we do that every other day already?”

Theon finishes his coffee in one drink - Robb has no clue of how he didn’t burn his throat in the process – and slams the cup back on the table. Two people sat next to them glare in their direction and Robb glares back – it’s a damned public Starbucks and they had been loudly discussing their plans for their honeymoon until five minutes ago, and he knows every damned place in the Bahamas that they’re visiting, so they have no business staring.

“Robb, damn it, I had enough excitement for a lifetime, when it comes to my fucking birthday. Can we just pretend it’s not happening?”

He’s not wrong about that either, especially considering that last year they had spent it in an ER with Jon taking statements before he went to find Theon’s psycho ex-boyfriend, but that’s exactly why Robb isn’t letting this go.

“It doesn’t have to be exciting. I just want to do something nice that _you_ ’d like to do, too.”

“Because it doesn’t have to do with three-months anniversaries or anything, has it?”

Robb can’t help smirking at the horrified face that Theon makes the moment that line comes out of his mouth. “So you have been counting, haven’t you?”

“I didn’t - I never said that!”

Robb doesn’t stop smirking and brushes his fingers along the back of Theon’s hand, and when Theon doesn’t do anything to push him off he tangles them along with Theon’s, and he tries not to think about the way his ring finger hangs more stiffly than the others.

“Right, you never did, my ass. But seriously, there has to be something you might want to do.”

“Robb, just let it go. I’m fine the way it is.”

“Yeah, don’t feed me that.”

Theon snorts and looks down at their joined hands. “You can’t really leave anything alone, can you?”

“You know, you could think about it and tell me later. As long as it’s not on the fifteenth.”

“Damn, how did you read my mind now?”

“Oh, because I’ve known you for twenty years? No need for mind-reading, you’re just that predictable.”

Theon tells him to fuck off and Robb reiterates by moving so that he’s sitting next to him on the small sofa instead of in front of him. He takes a sip of his now lukewarm coffee – damn, it tastes like crap now – and doesn’t say anything. Theon’s obviously thinking it out and it’s good enough that he’s doing it in the first place, so he says that he’s going to get something to eat to wash off the coffee’s aftertaste and leaves him there.

He comes back with a couple of cupcakes and sits back on the sofa. He hands Theon one, but he doesn’t take it, so he puts it down on the table.

Theon is also blushing like hell, which is not entirely new but still an occurrence, so he keeps his mouth shut and waits it out.

“Right. Maybe there’s something I’d like to do.”

“Okay. Spill then.”

“No. I mean, if you agree you aren’t telling anyone until you live.”

“… All right?”

“Robb, I’m serious. If you don’t want to do it just forget this conversation ever existed.”

“You make it sound like it’s something fucking illegal. You _know_ what I’m not game for, and I’m pretty sure you agree on that anyway, so just get on with it.”

“Fine. Uh, so, you do remember the last time I did anything for my birthday.”

“Even too well,” Robb answers. How could he even forget. They were fourteen, Theon’s mom had insisted that he’d invite a few people over since it had always been just him and Robb for years, Theon had resisted a while and then gave in and asked over also some of the guys in the school’s archery team. Not that they were _close_ friends but he did get on all right with them. It had all gone peachy for the first couple hours, then when they were playing a videogame or something like that Theon’s dad had come home from his business trip two days before he was supposed to.

The reaction had been a complete disaster. Enough that Theon had quit the team the next day and proceeded on speaking just to him for the next few years while they were in school.

“Right. So you do remember what he said.”

“Pretty much, but you’re going to have to be more specific. He said entirely too many things.”

“The part about who does stupid things as birthday parties and the one concerning my sister.”

Right. It was some complete bullshit about that kind of things being for spineless girls and it spoke volumes that Asha Greyjoy never even asked for one, so it had obviously been an infortunate mistake that he’d be more of a woman than his sister. At least by then everyone but Robb had left already.

“I do, and I still think it’s entirely bullshit, and I still don’t regret telling your dad that it was a load of crap. Your point?”

“My point - ah, damn it. Can’t you just figure that out if I’m that predictable?”

Robb would insist if Theon wasn’t looking like he’d like the ground to swallow him whole, so he figures he’ll put some effort in it, even if he doesn’t have that much to go on about. It has to be something Theon’s feeling pretty ashamed of, otherwise he’d have just told it straight. If the point was that he was _more of a girl_ than his sister…

Oh. 

If he’s right, that’s not what he had expected. Except that it does sort of make sense. Now that he thinks about it, the dreadful year during which Theon only wore his brothers’ horrible hand-me-downs had started from that point on, hadn’t it? Never mind that he hated them.

“If I figure out that you might want to watch that movie with a dress on, am I wrong?”

Theon’s eyes go, in fact, very wide. Robb can’t help chuckling at that.

“How did you -“

“You’re predictable. And _that_ was the big deal?”

“… why, it’s not?”

“Not really? I mean, if you think you can pass convincingly or you know someplace where people wouldn’t care if you didn’t, I could take you out if you want.”

“Oh for – you’re serious,” Theon groans, but his cheeks are still a lovely shade of red and he isn’t saying no.

“You thought that would be a problem?”

“I don’t know, yes? I mean, it’s –”

“A perfectly harmless thing? You’d hardly be the first person liking it.”

“… Wait, so you don’t, uh, have a problem with it?”

Robb shrugs, shaking his head. “Why the hell would I? You didn’t ask me to help you kill someone or some shit like that. I told you, if you want to go out like that, just say where.”

“Maybe I’d rather stay in.”

“Fine. Your place or mine?”

“Yours,” Theon replies quickly. “The last thing I need is anyone I’m related to possibly dropping by.”

Robb doesn’t say that the only three relatives of Theon’s who do that (his sister, his mother and his uncle on her side) most probably wouldn’t give a damn if they walked in on them trying dresses out, but it’s probably not the time or place to point that out.

“Okay. Do I have to ask my sister if she can lend me some make-up?”

“Fuck you very much,” Theon groans while reaching out for the cupcake Robb had left on the table.

Robb finds himself really looking forward to Valentine’s Day.

\--

On the fourteenth, Robb takes the day off and makes sure that everything he wanted done is ready before Theon comes in the evening - clearly Theon had abruptly refused to tell him whether they should do something else, but Robb is glad enough that he went as far as he did. So Theon might probably call him ridiculous and remind him that Valentine’s Day is complete crap, but he’s not going to do this half-assed.

By seven PM, he has locked the living room’s door and changed into not horribly old jeans and a clean shirt, which was clean but not ironed, but then again he spent the day cooking and completely forgot about ironing the laundry. Not that he thinks anyone is going to notice.

Theon rings the bell at five past seven. He has a nondescriptive paper bag in his hands and he looks like he just wants to bolt.

“You forgot the ironing,” he says.

“It was for good reasons.”

“You always forget that.”

Robb snorts and lets him in. “As if this shirt is going to be clean or not wrinkled three hours from now. You can use my bedroom. Also, Sansa did forget some make-up the last time she spent the night here.”

“Shut up,” Theon replies before heading straight for the room - except that Robb has noticed that when he shaved this morning, he was very thorough.

He smiles to himself and waits.

\--

He waits for a good twenty minutes, then he knocks on the door.

“Are you still in there?”

“Uh. Yes.”

“Are you done?”

“I think this is a bad idea -“

“Can I come in?”

“It _is_ a bad idea -“

“I’m coming.”

He hears Theon swearing from the inside, but the door wasn’t locked, so nothing stops him from letting himself in.

For a moment he’s just speechless. Then he realizes that he should talk as soon as possible if only so that Theon does not go back on it.

“Okay, this is one of the times where you’re completely fucking wrong.”

“What?”

“Just - it’s nowhere near a bad idea.”

“… No?”

“Fuck, not at all.” 

So maybe he hadn’t ever considered the idea before, but thing is, he really, really likes what he’s seeing. He has no clue of where Theon might have found the knee-length black dress that he’s wearing right now – it could have been his mother’s, considering that she’s more built than usual for a woman and he’s always been slim and toned rather than buff – but it really fits him quite nicely. It’s not extremely tight-fitting, so it doesn’t look much weird, and the black belt made of the same fabric on the waist is kind of loose, so it falls down pretty nicely. The grey stockings he put on as well match the dress quite nicely, and while he has nothing else on, the result is quite damn good.

“Are you really sure you don’t want to go for the make-up?” Robb blurts after a few seconds of staring on both sides.

“… _What_?”

“Why not?”

“Come on, I look ridiculous.”

“No, you look hot,” Robb replies without even thinking about it. Theon doesn’t seem that convinced, but he’s definitely not letting this go. Sure, he’s not going to say _I feel ridiculously turned on right now_ , but still.

“Hot.”

“Do I have to say it five times?”

“As if. Do you think I even know how you put make-up on?”

“ _I_ do.”

“… since when?”

“Since Sansa hated applying make-up to her eyes and my mom wasn’t always around. Do you see Arya or Jon doing it for her?”

“Right, fair point.” He seems to think about it for a moment, then he shrugs and looks down at the ground. “Whatever. Not like anyone but you is going to see me, so knock yourself out.”

They head for the bathroom and Robb just hopes that Sansa never finds out that he actually put her precious make-up to use without her permission, but it’s not like he’d use that much. And helping her put it on for six months made him decently skilled at it, so he waits for Theon to grab a chair and sit down and then he gets on with it. He doesn’t go farther than a bit of blush, dark blue eyeliner and mascara with the same color - he also didn’t have much choice since that’s what Sansa calls her traveling kit, not the powerhouse that she has at home, but it’s probably better - less time to waste.

“Are you really sure you don’t want to go out’?” He figures there’s nothing harmful in trying again.

“Sure as hell not. Why would I even?”

“Most girls in high school didn’t look half as nice as you do right now.”

Theon stares at himself in the bathroom mirror - Robb thinks that he’s done a pretty good job all things considered. He went light with the eyeliner, leaving just one thin strip, and Theon already had long lashes so the mascara works like a charm, and Robb isn’t proceeding to kiss the living daylights out of him right now just because he know they would end up naked in minutes and he wants to savor the sight for a bit longer.

“So, are you done having doubts about it?”

“Maybe. I just - I don’t even know what the hell I’m doing.”

“You’ll figure it out. Now, can we go someplace less cramped?”

Theon rolls his eyes and follows him out of the bathroom and into the living room.

Where he proceeds to stare at the table as if he can’t even believe what he’s looking at.

“Don’t tell me you forgot about ironing because you spent the day cooking fish.”

“… That’s exactly what I did.”

“Robb, you hate fish.”

“Well, you like it and it’s your birthday. And I don’t loathe it when it’s fried, and I fried half of it, so I think I can suffer. And don’t say that it should go both ways, because it is going both ways.”

“You’re crazy,” Theon replies without meaning it at all, and Robb stops himself from holding out the seat just at the last moment. He has no clue of how far Theon wants to bring this, so he figures he’ll just wait and see. He gets himself some of the fried calamari and lets Theon grab from the rest of the bowls he left on the table, pretending that everything is going exactly the same way it would be if it was any other day.

He can only do small talk for five minutes at most, though.

“So,” he says while he eats his last piece of calamari, “how is that going?”

“How is what going?”

“You said you wanted to try that out, didn’t you? How’s it working for you?”

“Ask me later,” Theon cuts him. “And consider cooking fish more.”

Robb rolls his eyes and goes for the salad - Theon’s obviously not touching it and he’s had his share of fish for the next six months or so.

He’s nowhere near done with this, and he’s sure that Theon knows that.

\--

When there’s nothing left to eat anymore, he tells Theon that he’ll clean up tomorrow, no problem, and then he decides to go for it, because one more minute and he’s not going to be responsible for his actions, not when he just can’t stop staring at the way that stupid dress looks on Theon and when it’s seriously making it hard to control his instincts. Which right now mainly consist in wanting to ravish Theon against the sofa.

“Last chance to change your mind,” Robb says, moving so that he’s standing next to Theon, not quite cornering him against the wall but close enough to touch if he so wished.

“About what?”

“About going out.”

“You would, wouldn’t you?”

“Well, I don’t know how is this working for you, but it’s definitely doing that for me. Why would I not?”

“Maybe not this time,” Theon says, and then he looks like someone caught in a trap. “Damn. I meant -“

“That you were thinking about doing it again? So it is working for you.”

Theon shakes his head and looks down at his hands, which are currently grabbing pieces of black fabric. “Are you really going to make me say it?”

“Hey, I’m more than fine with doing it as much as you want. And you don’t have to say anything.”

Damn, his mouth feels so dry it’s not even funny, and then Theon takes a step forward and puts a hand on his hip and another on his shoulder, gripping quite strongly for a moment, and he clears his throat before parting his lips, and damn but this up close, it’s taking Robb all his control not to kiss him stupid.

“It really isn’t weird that I’m liking it?” Theon sounds like he honestly has no clue of what to do with the conclusion he’s come to. Robb can only get why, all things considered, and he shrugs before taking a small step closer.

Robb shakes his head, both his hands resting on Theon’s waist, his thumbs wrapping around the belt. “So what? It’s a free world. And wearing dresses never harmed anyone. It’s your business.”

“I still feel like I shouldn’t like it.”

“Sorry, but I have never seen your sister in clothes that weren’t cut for men. What, she can do it all the time and you occasionally can’t?”

“That’s not the same thing.”

“Really. How?”

Theon opens his mouth and then promptly closes it. Then he does it again. Then he shakes his head. “Damn you, it just isn’t.”

“It looks to me like it is, just that your dad wouldn’t approve. Then again, who gives a shit about your dad. Now, having established that you aren’t hating this, I’m going to ask you a question.”

“Right. Shoot then.”

“I’m this close to dragging you down to the nearest flat surface and show you exactly how much I like the get-up, but before I do it – uhm, like, do you want things to go the usual way or you want me to go the whole way?”

“Go – go the whole way?”

“Don’t play dumb. You want me to do this as if you were a girl for real or not?”

Theon’s eyes go wide all over again, then he swallows visibly and moves a bit closer to him. “You don’t have to.”

“I know I don’t have to do anything. But I’m asking what you want. I’m ravishing you either way, don’t you worry.”

At that Theon smirks, obviously unable to keep himself from doing it, and when he leans just a bit closer, his cheeks going maybe slightly redder, Robb has to really use all of his self-control not to kiss the living daylights out of him right now. 

“Uh. I – I might be quietly freaking out here. I mean, I like it, but - it’s still weird.”

“Okay. So, as usual?”

“Actually – could you do it halfway? Shit, I don’t even know if it makes any sense, but –“

“Oh, don’t you worry. I think I get it.”

“You _get_ it.”

“Let me guess,” Robb says, moving his hands so that they’re grabbing at Theon’s hips properly. “You don’t want me to _call_ you girly names or whatever, and you’d probably punch me if I tried to do it.” Then he brings an arm behind Theon’s waist, keeping the hold firm but not too much, and moves the other up his side slowly, until it’s right behind his neck. “On the other side, you might want me to _touch_ you the way I’d touch a girl. Assuming it’d make much of a difference.”

“… How did you –”

“As I said, you’re predictable.” At that, he pushes his leg in between Theon’s, moving so that Theon’s cock touches his thigh, and Theon shudders against him in a way that makes Robb’s throat go dry almost at once. “So, are we getting on with the program?”

“Fuck, _yes_ , get the hell on with it,” Theon groans when Robb’s hand brushes against his groin, and Robb bites his tongue so he doesn’t say that it’s not exactly ladylike to swear like that.

He just closes the distance for good and presses Theon up against the wall, finally kissing him the way he’s been wanting to for hours – he doesn’t even try to go gently, but Theon kisses back as fiercely so he doesn’t worry about that too much, and meanwhile he keeps on running his hands along Theon’s sides, feeling the cotton of the dress under his hands, and damn but he loves how the sharp angles of Theon’s body feel under that ridiculously soft cloth. He doesn’t stop kissing him until he feels one of Theon’s legs hooking against his thigh, and right, _maybe_ he should bring this to some horizontal surface, since the both of them are way beyond half-hard right now.

“Shit,” Theon says when Robb’s mouth moves away from his, “I don’t think I can make it to the bed. Too many stairs.”

“Good for you that I have a comfortable couch,” Robb breathes out before moving back and turning so that he’s dragging Theon against it - he falls down on the cushions, with Theon falling on top of him. And – when he looks up at him, his admittedly long hair is falling all round his face, and for a moment he has to take notice, again, that _damn_ , but Theon looks good with eyeliner on.

Then he decides that he’s going to do this right and flips them over – thankfully his sofa is big enough that he can put his knees around Theon’s ankles without it feeling ridiculously cramped.

“You really have to be that far back?”

“Well, I’m not going to half-ass it now, am I?”

With that, Robb moves forward and grabs the dress’s skirt, bringing it slowly upwards, full-bent on taking off the stockings carefully and improvise from there.

The moment the skirt is raised, his mouth goes completely dry and his cock becomes even harder, and if he had thought it couldn’t when they barely touched yet, he was wrong. Until now, he hadn’t realized that the stockings were actually _thigh-high_ stockings, along with dark garter belts, but if that wasn’t enough, Theon really went the whole way.

“Shit, you could have warned me first,” Robb says as he runs his fingertips over the dark satin panties that – while not overtly girly or lacy – are definitely cut for a woman.

“Why, so you could have a laugh?”

“All the contrary,” Robb says, wetting his lips before he proceeds to slowly take one of the stockings off. He goes inch by inch – and he’s nowhere near surprised to see that Theon shaved his legs, too – and as he does he runs his fingertips on the smooth skin that he reveals, and maybe sometimes he leans down to kiss the inner thigh, and every time Theon arches up against him ever so slightly at the beginning and with less and less control whenever Robb does it.

When both stockings are on the ground next to the sofa he kisses his way up from Theon’s left ankle to the inner thigh, grinning to himself when Theon starts to swear and tells him to go faster.

“No,” he breathes against his knee. “You asked for slow, you’ll get slow.”

“I never asked for slow.”

“Too bad for you that whenever I’ve been with girls I’ve always taken my time.” He grins and keeps on until he’s mid-thigh, then he puts his hands on Theon’s sides and brings himself up, looking at him in the face for the first time since he lifted the skirt – Theon’s cheeks are completely flushed and the eyeliner might be getting smeared.

Shit, this really was the best idea Theon ever had.

“I hope none of them fell asleep meanwhile.”

“Shut it,” Robb replies before wrapping his hand around Theon’s erection. feeling the wet silk under his fingers, and at that Theon moans loud enough that Robb is momentarily glad that his neighbors are on vacation right now. He gives a tentative stroke, then two, and at that he knows he’s definitely ruining that underwear but it’s totally worth it.

“Not so asleep right now, huh?”

“Right. Maybe – maybe not,” Theon groans, but it’s obvious he’s trying not to moan out loud all over again.

Robb smirks and moves his free hand upwards until his fingers run all over the cleavage part of the dress, feeling Theon arch up under his hand – damn, he hadn’t thought he’d be _this_ much into it when he told Theon to give it a go, but right now? Right now he’s so into it that he needs to make sure he doesn’t come before he has even touched himself. Which could in fact happen, considering that he doesn’t think he’s ever been this turned on in his life.

Right. He needs to focus.

And as much as he’d like to go slow, he needs to get on with the program.

So he grabs the hems of the panties and pulls them down – yes, definitely ruined, but he can always buy Theon a new pair. He feels Theon shuddering when Robb puts his mouth on his cock, and he’s nowhere near surprised when he moans out loud at at. Robb smiles to himself before taking in more. He keeps on going slow, though, taking in more bit by bit until he can’t anymore, and damn but feeling Theon growing harder inside his mouth while he’s grabbing at the stockings on his legs? Shit. They definitely have to do this a second time. And a third. And a twentieth, as far as he’s concerned. For now he keeps on sucking dutifully, and only thinks, _finally_ , when Theon’s hands grip at his hair, not exactly pushing but preventing him from moving too much.

He takes his time, running his tongue along the head slowly, taking a bit more in when he feels like he can, until he feels Theon tense even further – he pulls at Robb’s hair a moment later, but Robb doesn’t pay attention to that and waits for it. It doesn’t take long - Theon comes in his mouth maybe moments later, hard enough that while Robb had planned on swallowing he doesn’t quite manage it and has to pull away a bit – well, patience. And if he ends up with come on his cheek, it was entirely worth it.

Robb moves away when he’s spent, and wipes at his face with his not-ironed shirt – who cares. He can wash it later. He’s not going to ruin the dress, since it was tipped far back enough that it didn’t get dirty in the first place. Or he’ll try, at least.

“Shit,” Theon whispers, his voice hoarse, as Robb takes off the shirt and throws it on the ground. “You didn’t have to – I mean, that wasn’t –”

“Just so that you know, when I do this with girls I tend to actually do it all the way,” Robb smirks, ignoring how painfully hard he’s feeling. He needs to hold out just a bit longer. “Wouldn’t be polite otherwise.”

“Only you,” Theon says, but it sounds more fond than else. “But wait – you haven’t –”

“In a moment. Shit, we’re definitely doing this again,” Robb says as he looks down at him. The make-up isn’t holding up well – Sansa definitely forgot the cheap kit –; the eyeliner is a bit smudged. Theon’s cheeks are still flushed, and he’s obviously not coming down from the high yet, and damn but he’d like to take a picture. Maybe next time.

Then he realizes that as much as he’d like to move forward with things, he doesn’t exactly keep lube around in his living room.

“I think,” he says, biting lightly at Theon’s neck, “that we really should move this to my bed.”

“Too many stairs,” Theon protests.

“Yeah, well, I’m not going up and getting back here again.”

Theon grudgingly agrees – Robb _maybe_ shouldn’t have felt a bit proud of himself when his knees half give out the moment he stands, but he still does. He puts an arm around his waist and they manage to stumble up the stairs until the bedroom. When they get there Theon just lets himself fall down on the bed after tearing away the covers; Robb is all over him the moment he’s found lube in his nightstand’s drawer. Also… Theon is still flushing that lovely shade of red and Robb needs to get out of his pair of jeans right the hell now.

He gets rid of them as they kiss, moaning in relief the moment he’s out of both trousers and underwear.

“Shouldn’t I take off –” Theon starts when they break apart for a moment, and Robb kisses him again just to stop that train of thought.

“You’re not taking anything off.” He hopes it sounds final enough – the last thing he wants is Theon still thinking there’s something wrong with what they’re doing. He takes a moment to put a condom on, and good thing that he wasn’t past the point when it wouldn’t fit anymore. When he finally manages to get some lube on his fingers and starts working on Theon with one, he’s only too glad to notice that he’s half-hard again. Not as much as he was before, but then again considering how hard he just came that’s plenty good enough. He takes his sweet time stretching him open, not adding a second finger until he isn’t sure that Theon is completely relaxed around the first, and same for when he adds a third.

He also doesn’t realize that he’s used a good quarter of that bottle until he has three fingers sliding smoothly in and out, and they never use this much. Theon doesn’t say anything though, and considering how dark his eyes are right now, he probably didn’t even notice. Or maybe he did.

“You know,” he breathes out a moment later, his cheeks going slightly redder. “I think – uh. Maybe –”

“I’m listening,” Robb replies, pouring some more lube into his palm and coating his cock in it, and damn if it doesn’t take effort to not come the moment he touches himself.

“I told you not to call me like a girl before,” he manages, and he looks barely coherent.

“You want me to?”

“Not – not all the way, but – some? Maybe?”

He sounds like he barely has an idea of what he wants, and Robb figures he’s going to have to improvise, but – fine. He can try.

“Why, want me to eat you out next time?”

Theon moans loudly enough that Robb is very, very glad he doesn’t have neighbors on this side of the wall.

“I could do that,” he rasps, lining up – he _really_ has to get on with the program before he ends up coming untouched, because at this point he just might.

Then he changes his mind about one thing.

“Hey, you want to switch?”

“What?”

“Get on top,” Robb says, and Theon blinks once then goes with it, moving to his knees while Robb gets on his back and _yes_ , he likes his a lot better.

“Is there any particular reason?” Theon breathes out as he moves forward.

“I can do this,” Robb replies, and puts one hand on Theon’s side, sneaking them under the dress, while moving the other to the small of his back and feeling the soft cloth under his fingers. “And – okay. Uh, move?”

Theon lowers himself down on his cock the moment he says it, entirely too fast for Robb’s liking, but he slides in so very smoothly – or at least more than usual, which isn’t a surprise considering the amount of lube they used.

For a moment the two of them stay still, getting adjusted to it.

Then.

“I _really_ like how wet you’re getting for me,” Robb says, and Theon doesn’t open his eyes but shudders underneath his hands and his cheeks flush harder.

“You do?” He blurts a moment later, starting to move slightly, but not doing anything more. Robb takes the hint and starts moving as well, thrusting upwards slowly, and – it takes him a moment to realize that Theon is going along with the way he moves rather than setting the pace as he usually does.

His throat goes dry again for the umpteenth time this evening.

“How does that look like?” He sounds out of breath. Maybe because he _is_. He moves the hand he had on Theon’s back up to his neck, bringing him forward for another kiss as Theon keeps on letting him set the pace. Robb is so close, he can almost taste it.

Meanwhile, he feels Theon’s erection press up against his stomach, and - he’s not fully hard and he’s probably not getting there before Robb comes, but he’s not just halfway there, and -

Well, Theon can always punch him in the face later if he’s going too far, right? He kisses the corner of Theon’s mouth before nibbling at his lower lip, and then he puts his mouth against the shell of Theon’s ear, and then.

“Think you could come for me again, sweetheart?”

He doesn’t even have time to worry about having overdone it, because then Theon’s eyes slam open and he comes with a small moan, and he seems almost surprised by it, and –

That’s it, he really can’t hold back anymore, and he kisses Theon again as he finally comes himself, and shit he’s pretty sure he’s rarely come this hard if ever – he closes his eyes and gets lost in the wave of dizziness coming all over him, and he can’t remember the last time sex felt this good, and after then he’s just beyond any kind of coherent thought.

When he opens his eyes, still feeling completely dazed, he’s still lying against the headboard, Theon’s head is on his shoulder and when he moves away there’s smeared make-up all over his skin. Robb’s frame feels sticky and he should probably pull out. He nudges Theon a bit and Theon does move enough to let him pull off, and then promptly falls all over him again.

The sheets are a mess. The dress is as well. _They_ are a mess, pretty much, but if that wasn’t the best sex Robb’s ever had he doesn’t know what it was.

“We should clean up,” Robb finally says after a minute of laying there, his hand casually stroking Theon’s damp hair. “We’re disgusting.”

“Not just now,” Theon mutters against his collarbone, not looking at him.

Then Robb figures they should address the elephant in the room.

“So. Uh. I didn’t – I mean, I didn’t go too far, right?”

For a moment Theon doesn’t say anything. Then. “I didn’t even know what I was asking you,” he admits. “And – uh. Well. Guess I liked it?”

“There’s no need to sound that ashamed, you know,” Robb replies. “Hell, _I_ liked it.”

Theon doesn’t ask him if he did for real, at least. That would have been ridiculous – he was there for it after all, it was plenty obvious that Robb was having the time of his life.

“So you – uh. You meant it when he said we could do that again?”

“I could do that again tomorrow,” Robb replies without even thinking about it. Shit, he so would.

At that, Theon moves enough that he can look at Robb in the face. And damn, no one has the right to look that good in smudged eyeliner.

“How are you so – so fucking – cool with it?” He sounds like he genuinely can’t figure it out. “I mean, it’s not like I _want_ to be a woman. I just –”

“Even if you did, why the hell would I care? I like _you_ , idiot. And I happen to think you look scorching with a skirt, so who even gives a fuck. I told you five times that if you want to go out like that I’d go along with it. It’s fine.”

“Shit, _I_ don’t know why I liked it.”

“Page me when you figure that out, but I don’t need an explanation.”

Theon doesn’t say anything else on the matter and they don’t go get cleaned up for a good half an hour. Robb has an inkling of why, but he keeps his mouth shut and changes the sheets while Theon brings their clothes to the washing machine. He comes back wearing one of Robb’s pajamas, and they go to sleep without further conversation.

Robb is definitely on board with doing this for the next foreseeable future.

\--

For two days, Theon doesn’t even bring it up.

Then.

“You said you would – that we could go out while I – uh, wore that stuff?” 

Robb has to ask Theon to say it twice, considering that the first time it came out so garbled that he heard maybe two words.

Then he smirks into the phone.

“Yes? What made you think I changed my mind?”

“Uh. Nothing. It’s – I think I found a place for that? But just if you want. I mean. It’s not –”

“At which time do I pick you up?”

“… Eight?”

“Eight it is. Don’t put on heels, though. I don’t want to feel like you’re _that_ much taller than me.”

“Fuck off,” Theon replies, but he doesn’t sound that worried anymore. Good.

Theon texts him the address of the place a while later – Robb looks it up. It’s a regular free-for-all bar, though – or so it seems from the website. From the way Theon was talking he’d have thought it was a BDSM club or something, not that _he_ ’d think there was something bad in it.

So he drives up to Theon’s place at eight, parks in front of the apartment building and walks up the stairs until he gets to Theon’s flat. He knocks and the door opens a moment later.

And.

Well, _wow_.

If he thought that Theon looked scorching last time, this is nothing. This time he actually seems to have put thought into it. He hasn’t put on heels, and good thing that – just a pair of non descriptive black flats. The dark red dress, though – that’s an entire different realm. It’s obviously cheap, and nothing that fancy – he probably got it at some street market – but it really fits him well, not a fold out of place. The skirt stops just under the knee, and are those black _satin_ stockings? The leather jacket Theon’s wearing over it should look out of place, but he pulls it off some way. And –

“You said you couldn’t put make-up on,” Robb says, probably sounding very dumb, but – he’s wearing make-up. The black eyeliner is applied perfectly.

“I can’t,” Theon mutters. “But – er. Turns out my fourteen year-old neighbor can. And she thought it was amazing that I wanted to try it on. Don’t ask how she found out.”

“I won’t,” Robb promises. “Fuck, let’s go before I ravish you right here.“

“Well, if you want to –”

“No, you wanted to go out and we’re going out. Don’t even. I really do want the entire place envying me.”

“Oh, shut up,” Theon says before grabbing his keys and stuffing them in the jacket’s pocket. “Actually I hope no one fucking notices.”

“We’ll see,” Robb concedes, and then – well, fuck it. He’s going to go for the whole package.

He holds out his arm. “So. _Sweetheart_. Shall we?”

He’s kind of hoping it doesn’t backfire.

Theon’s cheeks flush red and he looks everywhere but at him, but he still slips his arm into Robb’s a moment later.

“If you ever try to call me like that when I’m not wearing –”

“Got it, I’ll die a painful death. Duly noted.”

“Right. Okay. _We shall_ , I guess.”

Robb smiles and decides that yes, that was without a question the best idea Theon’s ever had in his life and patience if Theon doesn’t realize it yet. He’ll get there.

End.


End file.
